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SITE OF THE MONTH
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Remininscing by CaliforniaDreamer
Link to story.
Plot
The story doesn't have a tangible plot. It's just kind of an explanation as to why Rory and Jess said what they said in Nag Hammandi..., but with a little twist. It's a nice concept, but there seems to be a lot of these Nag Hammandi... one-parters milling around.
Man, we fans can be really bitter sometimes. :)
I'm glad you worked in a little fiction in the story, because the first time you mentioned the picture, it immediately peaked my interest. I thought it was going to be another shot at an alternate ending to fit someone's mood, but it's not. Good job.
Characterization
Both Rory and Jess are well-written.
I liked Rory's silent sadness, and that feeling of dread when she tosses the picture into the fire. So sad. She's finally realised how futile it is to keep thinking about Jess.
Jess's description of Luke is priceless and so on-the-dot.
"His idiot of an uncle. Stealing his car? What the heck was he thinking? Whatever. Jess didn’t think he could possible fathom the thought processes of Luke Danes."
I like that him telling her that he loves her was just something he wanted Rory to know, and nothing else. He doesn't seem to expect anything else but that.
Style/Flow
It's more of an internal reflection piece than anything, which works well with what you've set up.
The flow was a little off to the side, though, when there's this small part of present tense. It distracted me a bit, starting from, "And that brings us to her current position..."
Structure/Spelling/Grammar
Nothing big jumped at me in this department. I somehow like the uneven structure to it as well, with the first part heavily dealing with Rory, and the second, a shorter part for Jess. I can't explain why, but I like it.
Things To Work On
Just that small patch of tense change. It's not a big deal, but it's kind of a common mistake.
Things That Rocked My Socks
I think I've mentioned it too much, but I just love the picture thing you've added. It's a sweet reminder that Rory wanted to forget, kind of the embodiment of her relationship with Jess.
Jess's characterization is also something that I really enjoyed.
The fact that you've made the infamous, "I love you" scene more simple anda mere statement "to let Rory know" is very good thinking, my friend. Noice!
Letter Grade
A!
Reviewed by:
Oregano
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