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It's Not So Easy by Amy
Link to story.
Plot
This was a short one part fic exploring the final year of the Literati relationship. It began with his departure (to be more specific: his infamous ‘I’ll call you’ on the bus before he left for California) all the way to his asking Rory to leave with him, and Rory turning him down. This was written before the actual episode where Rory said no was aired. The majority of the story is scenes already seen on TV, although there’s an addition of Rory’s thoughts on everything (because it’s hard to tell sometimes what she’s thinking), and an extra small scene of Rory sitting on the bridge, wishing Jess had said something. Then the last couple of scenes are speculation on spoilers, so it’s a different kind of perspective, a different version of what happened. But in the end, Rory’s still trying to let go, and finding it “not so easy”.
Characterization
I’d have to say that you have everyone down. Rory’s thoughts fit who she is and what she was most likely feeling after Jess left. I especially liked her sitting on the bridge, thinking about him: Did he think of her often? And then her thoughts about the phone call were excellent: If only he had said something. She would have been able to let it go.
What little was seen with Dean fit his character: his annoyance with Jess, sarcasm toward his sudden appearance, and then concern and protection of Rory, asking her to call later.
I wanted to smack Jess when Rory came in with Dean, so kudos to you, because he was being his usual pleasant, sarcastic self. It made sense that he got on the defensive: he showed up to speak to Rory, and here she was with Dean. But then he got to the real reason why he was there, and you didn’t turn it into some melodramatic monologue on his part, and he didn’t come off sappy. Well done.
Style/Flow
One of the best parts of writing one parters are getting to experiment with different styles. You don’t always write a one parter the same way you’d write a multi-chaptered fic. I liked it this way, small snippets of the ending of their relationship, Rory’s thoughts on the whole thing, trying to let it go. You went in chronological order, and split the scenes up clearly. It made it easy to read and follow.
Structure/Spelling/Grammar
I did notice a couple of mistakes here and there. No one’s perfect, mistakes occur, although they stick out more in shorter pieces. I’ll say what I say to everyone: A beta reader is always helpful.
Things To Work On
This is a tiny, miniscule, doesn’t even need to be mentioned nitpick, but I couldn’t get it off my mind. (It’s all about the little things with me.) Rory was walking around town in her robe? She couldn’t get dressed first? Sorry, small details stick with me. Although, there is something I wanted to point out. After all of Rory’s thoughts on the two of them, missing him, wanting to move on… after all that build-up, I found the ending a little disappointing. I’m referring to his request for her to leave with him, and her simple "No". I know this was written before the actual episode, and I know that the spoilers didn’t really give you anything to go on with her actual response, but I was hoping for a little more. An explanation for why she was saying no? A goodbye?
Things That Rocked My Socks
Rory’s bridge scene (see earlier in the review for my favorite lines) I really enjoyed. He left all the worrying, and sadness to the ones who cared about him the most. That line because it’s what Jess did, and it hurt her. Their conversation at the end I loved. The sarcasm, the confession, and the kiss. Jess’s mini-monlogue was really well done. It made me sad for him without turning him sappy and unrecognizable. I’m also glad that they did get that kiss. Also, the very last line, reflecting the title: It wasn't so easy, she decided, to get over it. It’s really not. Excellent job, I really enjoyed this.
Letter Grade
A-
Reviewed by:
Angeleyez
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