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SITE OF THE MONTH
Another site maintained by Hider and Sam. I don't think I've ever heard of a completely Literati-based fan fiction awards site. Have you? Start nominating, kids!
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Illusion by all things holy
Link to story
Plot
It's a great narrative piece you've got here. The summary you left was effective because once I read that line, I was hell bent on knowing what happened in Illusion. It's a more realistic approach to Luke and Lorelai's relationship, acknowledging that there may be an end to it. It's short, and despite its tragic feeling, somehow very romantic. It starts off with Luke and Lorelai already broken up and the description of how it all happened. And then we see that one of them gets married, and both of them kind of go back to "the good times" and start questioning their separation. Their relationship started out seeming like a mistake, but as the story moves on, it now sort of seems that the break-up was the mistake. But, what's done is done, and the illusion of Luke and Lorelai is shattered. Kick. Ass. I'm a sap for tragic endings (Will Shakespeare would be my best friend). I love how it's all so believable.
Characterization
There is no dialogue in this piece, but somehow, through their silence, it enhances the feel of Luke and Lorelai. It makes sense, too, because I can see them totally ignoring that issue, desperate to get things back to the way they were.
This story points out their flaws, what they did wrong, and your description of them both is so dead-on. I can see Luke putting Lorelai up on a pedestal, but soon come to his senses. I can see Lorelai having too much pride to tell him exactly how she feels and admit any sort of dependence towards Luke.
Style/Flow
I like how your style seems a little distanced, like we're just audiences to their relationship, waiting for everything to play out. Despite how short it is, I still felt a dynamic to the story from beginning to end. Good job!
Structure/Grammar/Spelling
You seem to know what you're doing and have a tight grasp at the more technical side of the English language. :)
Things To Work On
Hah! Dude, like what? From tagline to the actual piece itself, you deliver. You deliver. I love you.
Things That Rocked My Socks
"But they were better apart and they knew it. It shocked them both, that the thing they'd thought would be so easy turned out to be so hard."
I'm a sucker for reality. The meaty stuff turns me on. It sounds dirty, but I am definitely turned on. People have this fantasy about Luke and Lorelai being together forever (I'm one of them), but I love how you address the What If? that everyone's afraid to think about.
Letter Grade
A+
Reviewed by:
Oregano
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