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I'd Rather Be There by swimchic2
Link to Story.
Plot
Well, it's the sequel to I'd Rather Be Anywhere But Here. So, you know...it follows that. Yeah. Okay, that was obvious. I'd Rather Be Anywhere But Here ends with Nag Hammadi, and Jess' "I love you." I'd Rather Be There picks it up from there. Rory's sad. Rory's got a boyfriend. After the initial shock, she wants to be Jess' friend, or talk to him, or see him. She misses him. Rory goes through a little of the Dean/Jess, "who do I choose?" stuff, but she actually makes the right decision and breaks up with Brian, her boyfriend. She goes to New York to find Jess (he's with Liz, not Jimmy in California). Jess is about to go on a lunch date kind of thing. Alright. Guess what the girl's name is. No, guess. Come on! You aren't playing! Okay, it's Sammy. Sammy! Guess what my name is? Dude! I was totally dating Jess!
And then, what happens? You know I won't tell you.
Characterization
I think you did the characters pretty well. (dirty!) Rory especially. Luke was good, and Lorelai. But I think Brian's personality changed according to what you needed him for. If he needed to be nice, he was. But then all of a sudden he wasn't. But original characters are hard.
Style/Flow
Normal flow, normal style. Novel-type, whatever that's called.
Structure/Grammar/Spelling
Good job! Better than last time. A beta is always recommended, but you're doing relitively okay without one. There were mistakes, however. If you don't want to go the beta way, I'd just recommend another proof read and you're good. (Or "good to go" as that Taco Bell commercial says.)
Things To Work On
Uh...above. It was a little rushed, but not majorly.
Parts That Rocked Our Socks
It seems like you listened to what I said last time! Oh, that's so nice. Okay. :)
I also really liked Rory. I thought you wrote her very well. In-character. Luke, also was written very well. Just...Rory, mainly. And that's a big thing, considering this is a Rory 'ship fic.
Grade
B! Super duper job! I'm happy, I'm so proud of you. :)
Reviewed by:
SamiJoe
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