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The Lying Kind by CaliforniaDreamer
Link to story.
Plot
All the Lits have been pretty much disappointed with Jess's leaving, and when Rory refused to come with him, it was basically pouring salt into the wounds. Sigh. After that moment, tons of little fan fics popped up, all having Rory say yes and live happily ever after with the boy with the dead lip.
But The Lying Kind is so different from what I've read before. There's a stark reality that is conveyed through this story. You address the possibility of Rory and Jess becoming what we all Lits fear them to become. It's almost difficult to describe what you have written here because in this story, it seems as if Rory and Jess's already complicated relationship has come to a new, dare I say, more complicated level that almost borders on fallacy. However, within this, there is a small saving factor to this cynical relationship, and despite it being such a brief moment, it is there.
Characterization
You have these two so well-written. I can imagine them turning somewhat like you've described, and perhaps it was a good thing for Rory to refuse Jess. You break the illusion of their fairy tale, and all we're left with is real people.
Rory tries to convince herself of her strength, but her words show something totally opposite of this.
Jess is still self-destructive, taking in Rory's lies, even if he is fully aware of the emptiness of her words. He even has a self-depreciating reason for it.
He knows she’s a liar, but it’s okay, because he’s never been one for honesty.
Style/Flow
I love the style you have here. There is a sure voice in your narrative, and even if it is in a third-person, it feels as if your narrator has a character of his own. I love it.
Structure/Grammar/Spelling
No real big distractions, if there were any. I like the balance of your words, where it's not totally made up of block-paragraphs, and neither is it a bunch of one-sentence paragraphs.
Things To Work On
Not... a lot. I can't quite think of any.
Parts That Rocked My Socks
I love how you delved into a more real portrayal of Rory and Jess because usually in fan fiction, they are made too sugary when their relationship is actually so beautiful because of their pain and tragedy.
He wants her to grab, and kiss passionately, pull him into the bedroom, and never let him leave.
She wants him to say he loves her, whisper it as he kisses her neck.
But they know that the lies only come when the sun goes down.
They think that maybe they’re okay with that.
Your style of writing here is great. It has personality. It's not boring. And it suits the themes you've worked with. Wonderful job.
Letter Grade
A+
Reviewed by:
Oregano
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