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SITE OF THE MONTH
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Wonderwall by firecracker
Link to story.
Plot
The story of Rory and Logan’s life together told from Logan’s point of view. What made this piece so great and so different from all the other’s that attempt this plot was that you used the background from the show, but you made it your own, rearranging events, and then expanding on those ideas. We get the ‘I love you’ (I love that Rory said it first ), the proposal (he was nervous) and the daughter(so sweet.) along with other important events in a couple’s life. That’s what made this different, and that’s what gave it an original plot.
Characterization
Well, there was no real dialogue, and it was told from Logan’s point of view, but I still got a pretty good idea of the characters, which shows you portray them well.
I think you have Logan’s inner voice down pretty well. His thoughts on their early encounters all seem accurate. You engage in a debate without meaning to. Logan. She’s speechless for you and you’re glad. Logan. You tell her you’ll keep her values in mind next time you embarrass her Its very him.*Sigh* I want a Logan. Okay, back to reality.
Your Rory is spot on as well. I loved where she made Logan leave because he’d distract, and how you made them get married in France. I could picture Rory wanting to marry there. Even her hesitation and then aggression with their first kiss was perfect.
Style/Flow
This was told from an unusual point of view. Very few people use second person
(I think that’s what it’s called) and can pull it off. You do though. You definitely do. It makes your style unique.
Even though this story is told in snippets of their lives, the events/transition flows easily.
Another thing I loved was the speech in parentheses, where it’s as if Logan’s interrupting his own thoughts. This was great: You bump into her (accidentally?) in the dining hall. Or: She tells you about the Life and Death Brigade (Like you’ve never heard of this.) Amazing style. It reminded me a little of The Princess Bride, which is a good thing. I love that book.
Spelling/Grammar/Structure
Only thing I did notice was that this sentence should have are here instead of is. You ask her where and is given a furious look. that’s a great line though.
Things to Work On
Not much at all. Keep writing. You’ve got talent; don’t waste it.
Parts That Rocked Our Socks
The uniqueness of your writing, of this story in general. This is the type of story you remember. That and the way you built the events of the actual show into your own piece.
You think you like the feeling of her fingertips against your chest. You dismiss the thought quickly. Not her.
“...and they live happily ever after.” –So sweet
Letter Grade
A+
Reviewed by:
Psychotic Scribbler
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