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SITE OF THE MONTH
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The Minor Planets By Arianna555
Link to story.
Plot
This story takes place in the future, long after the current season. Rory and Jess are engaged and living together, but there’s no happily ever after, yet. Rory is supporting them; Jess is trying to write, but he can’t put his words on paper. They’re relationship is at a standstill. Beneath the surface there’s a whole other plot, which I find utterly interesting. The books, how everyone related their lives to books. That’s how they communicate. Rory and Jess’s relationship at its most real. She picks it up. Not much is written inside, but the pages he’s noticed for some reason have been marked with a slash of pen. Some page near the back is folded over (what, he never dog-ears books!).
I like this idea, because on the surface this story has been done quite a few times. But your story is unique, different. It has its own distinct qualities and it stands out.
Characterization
I love how you write Jess. He’s still Jess…but he’s developed. He knows he needs to write; he needs to make money. He feels horrible about the fact that Rory is supporting him. He’s frustrated, annoyed; he can’t put his thoughts together. You tap into the mind of Jess Mariano like no one else can. but he’s not ready to succumb to her allure just yet. *sigh*
Your Rory seems very realistic. Her exhaustion; her annoyance, but she’s still there. Her need to talk is great; like here. She returns to her book, squirming in the quiet. She’s desperate for a discussion. That’s how she communicated; that how she makes things better. She finds logic in books and facts. She’s Rory.
Style/Flow
You have a style like no other. It’s distinct; it’s understandable, and it flows easily. Your use of the English language is amazing. A few faves:
They are already in a state of carelessness. Already!
He thinks it’s ridiculously ironic that he who spent years ducking out of notice, from everyone but her, is now fighting (and losing) to get his name in print, or at least his words.
“You need a new one,” she murmurs, teasing. (Numbers! he thinks, annoyed.)
Structure/Grammar/Spelling
So not dignifying this with a response.
Things to Work On
What? You think I’ve been singing your praises the last few paragraphs for nothing?
Parts That Rocked Our Socks
You’re amazing style, and the sense of uniqueness you bring to stories. This plot has been done more times than imaginable, but when I read yours it stands all on its own. Your stories are memorable.
Final Grade
A+
Reviewed by:
Psychotic Scribbler
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