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The Farther You Fly by Excentrik Chick
Link to story.
The Plot:
What we have here, is Rory, Logan and a failure to communicate. Logan knows Rory wants more out of their relationship, and Rory thinks Logan wants less, which he sorta does, because he’s super-scared of commitment, but then realizes he wants more, too, but Rory doesn’t know that, and so they break things off, and then wind up getting back together. Yes, that is the plot, and it’s a solid one, especially for a one-part story. Easy to follow, and it holds your attention! Now, I’m not a Rory/Logan shipper. In fact, I kind of wish that Logan would die in a fire. But this held my attention, so kudos! *tips hat*
Characterization:
I think that both Rory and Logan are very believable in this. It’s very true to the characterization in season six of Gilmore Girls. You’ve got Rory, who’s got googly-eyes for Logan, and goes along with the whole “cas” thing, but isn’t really happy, and Logan, who’s only really good at the “cas” thing. I especially loved Logan in this, because he’s scared! Which he is! It’s not so evident in the show, but I love when it’s pointed out. Because he’s so scared. And it’s so like them to try and “talk” and then just wind up sleeping together.
Style/Flow:
Not bad. The sentences are very short, and snappy, which is good. It grabs attention and makes it go. Though, I felt that the break-up scene was kind of lacking…I felt like Rory should have said…something. I don’t know what, but something. It just seemed too short. And the make-up also seemed a little too short. I feel like Rory would have had more to say than “yeah…sure…”
Structure/Grammar/Spelling:
Also not bad. There were a few tiny things, but nothing that I’m willing to gripe about.
Things to Work On:
Just watch your typos. And I think going through and re-reading things would really help. Even if you’ve done it once, try it again. See if there’s anything you can add to make it better.
Parts That Rocked Some Socks:
The fact that Logan is terrified of needing Rory. The fact that Rory feels a loss of her pride after Logan does the breaking up instead of her. This Line: “He drinks himself into oblivion now. It's more than just the buzz that used to satisfy. He sleeps with more girls than he'd like to admit, hoping with each thrust that he'd forget her.”
Final Grade:
B+
Reviewed by:
Wonderlandgirl33
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